In Visio 2010, you will see connection points in the following conditions.
1. By "feel/Braille" when you mouse around a shape with the Connector tool. You don't actually see them, but the connector-cursor snaps to their locations.
2. If View > Visual Aids > Connection Points is checked, you will see them for a shape when you get near to the shape with the Connector tool.
3. If Connection Points are visible, you will see all connection points for a shape the whole time that you are busy in the shape's ShapeSheet window.
There are solutions that were designed with connection points as a visual cue to users. Now they have to guess and stumble around in the dark hoping to discover connection points.
One example is the [http://visguy.com/vgforum/index.php?topic=1572.0]Comic strip frames and layout[/url] by
Yacine.
Rack-mounted network diagrams are another major solution. Although rack-mounted stuff can probably be pushed towards containers and lists, but I haven't investigated the necessary rastering/snapping for that yet. Maybe Al or somebody else has?